whew.. it was a long time since i've visited here..

many things happened..


my cast was removed wednesday.. i expected it to be okay, but i think it's not.. i've got some problems.. they're quite few, but i consider them major.. first, my cast had a crack, right? so unconsciously for some weeks my leg stood with a slightly bent cast. i thought it was alright, since it was only at a small angle that it was bent... i thought it was still straight.. and anyway, i was always streching it.. stretching it.. er.. yes.. especially when i'm like this, sitting right in front of the computer... so, anyway, now that the cast was removed.. i couldn't straighten my legs. i'm so troubled. i cannot shift my weight on my left knee.


"i hope it heals" was what the doctor said. is this what he meant...?


that leads me to another problem... i still cannot commute.. and i really hate it.


argh... my knee hurts... it hurts but i think i can take it, really... i pray that it heals... that it would somehow come back the way it was, even if not exactly.. i just don't want to experience that pain again - not with the injury... it just hurts when you expect many people to help you, but no one does much... i think i've expected too much of everyone..


expected to much of everyone...


i really wish i didn't do that...


hey. that reminds me. i'm trying to get over the feeling of not being called even as a silver medalist. damn it. sa lahat ng hindi ko makukuha, yun pa... tapos ikaw...


i really wish i didn't expect anything from anyone at all...