Conversations II

So I was talking again to this friend of mine who said he/she was "sabog."
I got many proofs for that but here's my favorite.

Remember my last post about conversations?


Friend: teka chong kelan klase mo pla
Moi: wala na nga
Moi: makulet?
Moi: ay sabog ka nga pala.
Moi:
Friend: HAHAHAHA
Friend: Sorry siyeeeeeeeeeeeeet

Emo time~

Chos.

I just wanted to say that I actually miss someone who reminds me how much he loves me every now and then.

Just that.

And of course someone who would hold my hands.
And get angry when I spent more time with the computer than with my bed.
Hahaha

BUT no particular person. That made it weird. XD

Conversations like these.

There are really these kinds of conversations that make me laugh out loud.

Seryosong usapan...

Friend: alam mo tol ung makati ung feeling?

Friend: ung gusto mong kamutin!

Friend: preo wala kang magawa

...

Moi: oo lalo na kung nasa likod, hirap abutin e

Moi: di mo pa makita

Moi: di ba?

Friend: lol

Friend: at lis ikaw alam mo kung san makaita

Friend: ako ang alam ko lang me makati

Moi: hahaha

Friend: at wala akong magawa

Friend: haish

Moi: maligo ka?

Moi: valid option naman ata yon

Moi:

Friend: tol i dont think nsa katawan ko ung "makati"

Friend: its jus a feeling lol

Moi: ALAM KO

Moi:

Friend: HAHAHAHA

Moi: hindi rin literal yung maligo okay?!

Moi:

Friend: ayan napatawa nako

Friend: haha

Moi: sana makiride ka no?

Moi: napapahiya ako e.

Moi:

Friend: e kasi minsan e

Friend: ung ibang tao di gets ung terminologies na ganun

Friend: sorry

Friend: inismall kita

Friend: hahaha

Anong meron sakin bakit hindi ako sineseryoso ng mga kausap ko?! =)) joke lang. =)) pinag-isipan ko yung isasagot ko e. Tapos ganon.

Kaya binawian ko... (naka-bold yung part ko kasi default font style sa YM tapos di ko mabago. stupid tumblr.)

Friend: wala kang school?

Moi: hindi nako nag-aaral e

Friend: ai

Moi: out-of-school youth

Friend: sorry

Moi: magbebenta pa ko ng mga pastillas sa bus

Moi: hinahanda ko lang yung papel na pinamimigay sa pasahero

Moi: hahaha

Moi: oi joke lang.

Moi: may final interview ako mamaya, pagpray mo ko ha.

Friend: muntik nako maniwala

wahaha kaya siguro walang sumeseryoso sakin pag may kausap ako. =))

WHY?

Why do I have to be interviewed by the Operations Manager?

Can't help but think about it. I'm just gonna think what Philip said it could be: a sign. And that it's good to be interviewed many times. It's a good thing.

Has to be, or I'll die of overthinking and nervousness. Jejeje~

Something about Faith

I just remembered, I had this notion of Faith that I want to write or express lately, especially since I'm undergoing another "Processing..." part of my life.

Faith is a very important thing to keep you going in life. Setting aside whatever you believe in, so long as you have faith, your eyes become the keenest it could be. Some would say it's going blind, but for me, it's being keen. Why? Because you are able to find a foundation for explanations that wouldn't suffice those who don't have faith.

Some would say that it would be lying to yourself. I say, no. We are all humans. If you have your own means to arrive at your goal - your dreams - your happiness - whatever you want to call it, let others be. How can you prove that you are or are not lying to yourself, anyway?

So, then, it all boils down to respect.

Faith, respect. I'm thinking about them being entwined to each other, and being applied to every aspect of life.

AS I EXPECTED OF MYSELF-

I'm about to storm you for the next few times I will go online. Nyahaha.

Actually, I bought a diary sometime in September or October.

Actually, it was just an ordinary notebook that I made into my diary.

The point is, I have something to write upon that I don't have to go online and do some clicking algorithms.

The next point is that, I am not using it.

Anyway, I'm feeling funny whenever I do a specific thing right now... *evil super mind-fucking smile* No, please, it's just some part of the stalker in me... *more evil super mind-fucking grin*

All things went well today, as I claimed. And so I claim as well the blessings God has for me tomorrow. If it weren't for God, I wonder where they would find my soul-less body now...

New Year / New Life Post

AND SO...

I was drawn to this creepy page I once called "Blog." I should have called this a diary, similar to that of Tom Riddle's when Ginny got it. Poured her heart out. And nothing good ever came out of it... Not really. Well if not because of that freaking diary, Harry wouldn't have saved her, and he probably wouldn't have really cared about her. So, YES, nothing - NOTHING - good really ever came out of it. Ugh

Anyway, guess what?

I've work!

And I don't like it!

So, you companies out there, before you get stormed by the resumes from all the university job fairs and campus recruitments, I'll be sending a hail (hale? wtf.) of my own resumes over you. Ano bang english ng "ambon?" Takte.

Anyway, hello blog. As I said, for some reason I'd rather not disclose (no, don't think it's because of my stalker skills which I'm quite proud of, not also because someone gave me some DIRE news about this freaking blog of mine... no.), I was drawn to this page.

Probably after 6 months or so I'd come again.

Or come to think about it, I'd probably come back tomorrow. :))

Realization

When we were young we've already tried to catch a glimpse of our future. We've already tried seeing what it would look like, and what we would look like there. We've slowly set standards that would tell us when we have achieved what we wanted.

The moment we uttered the word "someday," though it may only be in our mind, we already knew that we were going somewhere someday. Of course, as years dragged on we realized the first "Someday I'm going to be"s aren't the ones we saw or wanted to see back then. And these somedays are coming nearer and nearer, and yet there are times when we still doubt what we would be someday.

When I was in kindergarten, I wanted to be an artist. I just wanted to draw. And I wanted to live quietly, farming maybe, watching my cows as they graze on the grass on the hillsides... No, I don't remember telling myself "Someday, I will be an artist." It was just, I wanted to draw. Then, it follows that I wanted to live on a hillside, farming. I gave them all up altogether when I entered grade school and had no more time to draw mountains with farms on the valley and little nipa huts and the sun rising (or it may be setting, I never really thought of it) behind the mountains...

The first time I told myself "Someday-" was when I wanted to be an archaeologist someday. I wanted to dig, to discover, and to share. I gave up when I graduated grade school. I just got tired of having dreams, and tried to live in the present. Then time came that I didn't know what I really wanted to be (becoming rich is not what I want - I just want to save my family from poverty, that's different - but how?) such that I don't even really like my course in college. And it even got worse.

And now that the somedays are getting nearer, where am I?

I am now afraid that because I gave up on dreaming, I don't have anything to realize. Is it too late then?

Year-End Special

Well, I just wanna try to remember what happened. :)

January

Sandamakmak na cases! And then midterms.

February

Nothing much, I guess. Applying for O&B pala! I was really into it. But I forgot about the interview. I wasn't able to set an appointment. :( Sir Andrew called me about it. While talking to him I felt like it was really no use, I can't make it on time. When I got home I got an email from PLDT. :)

March

I think this was the time of PLDT Student Camp Launch. Then the finals, and the relief from everything! Wooh!

April

Internship!!! Got to meet many people. Experienced so many things. Got my hair "relaxed" and it was really short. Met with Vanir and went window shopping in Glorietta.

May

End of internship. Aww. Before that, watched Iron Man 2 twice! With Inna, and then with Jorge.

June

Start of another year. :) Watched a lot of movies and felt love in the air. Honestly, I thought everything was just getting better after a very long wait.

July

Well, things just keep getting better. Since I was an applicant for ABAM - trans - I got to get close with many people! :) Found new friends and a few people whom I added to "I really can't get your attitude" list.

August

Oh, all those deliverables! :)) And the love.

I guess I wanna end there =))

The Sixth Day

Everything was perfect, until God made man. Then the world was whole.


Since I was a child I have always wondered why I exist.
What do other people feel?
If we are happy, do we ever feel the same kind of happiness?
What are they thinking?
Am I alone?
Are they real?
What will happen if I die?
What will happen to all my thoughts and memories?


Even then, a believer of the supernatural and such (I feared them, too), I knew that ghosts don't have brains that store memories. No, they don't even have a heart. Even if materialists find out that ghosts are indeed made up of matter, that would not mean they already have the cells that store and retain memories from being human.

Then it came to me - the brain is not the only thing that stores memories. In fact, it might just be serving as the RAM of our bodies. Nah, what a comparison. But yeah, something like that. I believe that our spirit - immaterial as it can be - carries memories, too. Not just simple memories of days and occasions, but of all we have experienced and learned in life. It carries a much valuable kind of memory.

Now why did God let that be?

I guess because, as God is the most Holy Spirit, and He made us in His image, then He breathed in us our spirit. Each and everyone of us. And that's what makes us special among all His creations.

Remember that before He made us, He already made all other things - the light after dark, the sky and the sea, the trees, the birds - everything we would need to live. And if you may have noticed, they are all just perfect! The way they live, even without the capacity of our brain - they have the basic instincts, and they live harmoniously, not only with their fellow species but with the whole world! But us? I think we are the most imperfect creation, but we are the most beautiful.

Why did God let that be - us, imperfect?

Because He meant us to be with Him. We just borrowed His breath - this life - and then He wants us to be with Him. Just as C.S. Lewis explicitly said in The Screwtape Letters, it is hard to understand why God would make us humans, give us Free Will, when He wants us to worship Him at all times. Well, that's another story.

As of now, let's just be happy and thankful we are existing. I don't want to say we own the world - all of us are but part of it. But we should be happy.